They Never Told Me About Failure...

I suppose every Bible College student goes into ministry with expectations of glowing success. Most of us experience an abundance of success stories, especially when we have invested in the lives of the people around us. I don't remember, though, that I was prepared for the failures of ministry I would face, and honestly now in hindsight, I'm not sure anyone can be prepared for failure. Programs were unproductive, outreaches failed, not every person who came through the church doors were saved and discipled, and even churches as a whole might shut down.

I remember about 25 years ago praying that God would never call me to plant a church. Nevertheless, we left Alabama in 2003 bound for Chicago to do that very thing. Dallise and I understood in advance the risk of failure. The following letter written in October, 2006, describes the end of that endeavor.

"Dear Friends,

Dallise and I want you, our friends and prayer partners, to know The Gathering Place Church will be closing at the end of October, 2006.

Dallise recently read a magazine article about Katie Couric's move from the Today Show to the CBS Evening News Anchor position. Asked about the format of the evening news, "'Some things are going to work and some things aren't,' she says matter-of-factly. 'I believe in noble failure.'"

That phrase caught my attention. I looked it up on the internet for further insight. Charles Schwab says, "The idea that failure is okay is ridiculous. But here at Schwab we differentiate between noble failure and stupid failure." Among his criteria for defining noble failure, Schwab included, "...you have a good plan and know what you're doing, you've thought it through carefully, and have implemented with sufficient management discipline, that if you look back in review, you'd conclude that it was thoughtfully done."

We launched out three years ago with prayer, with counsel from many whom we respect and with an obedient spirit. We got off to a good start with a plan and a passion to obey God in planting this church. We experienced moderately steady growth. I became involved in the local Chamber of Commerce and discovered a receptive platform for communicating the gospel in that business setting. We even were able to lead a few to the Lord.

However, we have not been able to sustain that growth and momentum, and for more than a year have been in a steady decline. Some moved away or graduated college and left for other pursuits. Some left after discovering that we embrace the gifts of the Holy Spirit and some left because they had personal conflicts with others in the church. Our worship leader resigned to devote his energy to the completion of his doctorate degree. Other emotional setbacks, more personal in nature to several families in the church, rocked our world when a dear friend and founding member passed away after a short battle with cancer.

Charles Schwab included another criteria in defining "noble failure;" "...you need to debrief yourself and ask what you can learn from the experience...".

I have learned much about how to start (and how not to start) a church. I'm sure there are many things we would do differently if we were starting again. I've learned much about myself, the details of which I will reserve communication for another time and format. For now, suffice it to say, my sense of calling into the ministry is only reaffirmed and strengthened through this experience.

While we are sad and disappointed at the results of our efforts, we cannot say we are sorry we embarked on this great adventure. Dallise and I have no regrets about our decision to move here and start this church. We believe it is important to take risks and venture out beyond our comfort zones to attempt great things for God. We are ready for the next "step beyond" in our lives, whatever that may be.

A. J. Valliant, reflecting upon a personal failure, wrote, "I suppose the lesson I took from this is that if we fail with grace and style the end result becomes secondary. It's the purity of our intent, and the depth of our conviction, that informs our worth; not some arbitrary marker of success."

Dallise and I hope you will see godly grace and style evidenced in our lives in the coming days. Be assured our worth is informed by the love of God, and to that love we will cling tenaciously.

We are deeply grateful for the financial, prayer and emotional support from so many of you. Thank you for your confidence in us. "

Now we are two years beyond that "noble failure". So, what's next? I have been working at Chase Bank as a Personal Banker, and have many opportunities for personal ministry to my clients. In that respect, it is fulfilling, but still, "What is ahead?"

This following "Word" was given at our church last Sunday. "... God wants you to KNOW that today is the day of His visitation upon your LIFE! To resurrect dreams, hopes, visions & promises and what you think is dead & gone."

The immediate response of my spirit to this Word was not that I would experience a "resurrection" of dreams or of ministry as I have known it before. What I heard, instantly and instinctively, was that God is birthing a NEW vision, a new dream, a new direction for me and Dallise. That excites me!Dallise and I both feel we may have another two years here in Chicago before we fully understand a new ministry vision and the release to pursue it. Thanks for walking this journey with us in prayer.

By the way, we do not see ourselves as failures in any way, only that we have experienced failure along the way. Even if they had told me about failure in Bible College, I could have learned its lessons only through my personal encounter with it. We can't wait to see what God brings from this past "Noble Failure" we have experienced.