Every Good Pastor Has A Toilet Cleaning Story...

Bible College is a place for dreams to begin taking shape. The ministerial student envisions himself preaching eloquently, baptizing converts and giving wise counsel based on the Word of God. He sees life change in discipleship and community in Communion. He will be loved and appreciated for his strong, yet compassionate leadership. The church will thrive as he obeys God.

What nobody really told us is that the everyday, mundane events of administration and maintenance can eat up the Minister's week. My son, Seth, now a Childrens' Pastor, wrote the following. "No one ever told me I would pull teeth of little kids; no one told me I would have to clean up bubble parties in the bathroom, or rescue preschool workers from little boys who lock themselves in closets because they had gone pee in there."

I discovered quickly that I would have to print bulletins, make deposits and do the accounting, cut grass and trim hedges, do painting, plumbing, carpentry and electricity (scary), replace lighting, vacuum, and worst of all, clean toilets. While I am not very good at many of these chores, I can say that I have developed a certain skill level in all of them. In fact, in a strange sort of way, I have come to realize that each of these responsibilities has produced character that I may not have developed otherwise. Charis (my daughter-in-law), wouldn't you agree that character is important?

I have come to realize the importance of serving the Body of Christ with a good attitude in these mundane, behind-the-scenes activities. I believe this so strongly that I can now say with a strong conviction that no Minister is worth his salt if he does not have a good toilet-cleaning story. Yea, you guessed it; you get to hear my toilet-cleaning story.

I was Administrator of the Christian School our church had established. One day it was reported to me that the urinal in the boys' bathroom that served our third and fourth graders was stopped up. In case you did not already know this, urinals are not designed for solids. Only liquids will flush. So, I wondered why the urinal would be stopped up. It would have been nice to have had a full time custodian whom I could call on a two-way radio and send to the rescue. But no, I, the Pastor/Administrator, was the only one on call. Besides, we didn't have two-way radios. When I arrived to scope out the damage, I discovered that apparently some little boy had devised a way to deposit "solids" (feces, poop, #two) in the urinal. Even though I knew it was not going to flush, I was hoping a few timely flushes would dissolve the "solids" adequately to make it disappear. That was only a pipe dream. Ultimately I conceded I would have to find a way to remove the "solids" from the urinal. It was not a fun task and I secretly resented the teacher who reported the incident, but would not take the responsibility to do anything more. Finally the task was over and I could get back to the important duties of ministry.

The next day, the teacher reported to me again the same problem. I took care of it again and this time really scolded the boys in the class and threatened the safety of their lives if it should happen again. Well, the next day, we were back in the same mess, if you know what I mean. Since none of the boys would own up to the responsibility, I figured the entire group of boys would have to assist in the cleanup. To their dismay, I made each of the boys join me in the bathroom and with the pair of tongs I had conscripted for the daily duty, each had to remove a piece of the "solid". I do not understand to this day why I did not have some parents in my office and on my case for involving their innocent little kids in this disgusting task. I'm sure most were uninvolved and yet, all learned an important lesson in hygiene that day.

By the way, if my memory serves me correctly, and it doesn't always, my son, Heath, was one of the "depositors" involved. Heath, if I am wrong, please forgive me for the unjust accusation. If I am right, I hope you have your own share of similar experiences. I would wish this on you only because I understand the value of every minister having a good toilet-cleaning story.