They Never Told Me About Failure...

I suppose every Bible College student goes into ministry with expectations of glowing success. Most of us experience an abundance of success stories, especially when we have invested in the lives of the people around us. I don't remember, though, that I was prepared for the failures of ministry I would face, and honestly now in hindsight, I'm not sure anyone can be prepared for failure. Programs were unproductive, outreaches failed, not every person who came through the church doors were saved and discipled, and even churches as a whole might shut down.

I remember about 25 years ago praying that God would never call me to plant a church. Nevertheless, we left Alabama in 2003 bound for Chicago to do that very thing. Dallise and I understood in advance the risk of failure. The following letter written in October, 2006, describes the end of that endeavor.

"Dear Friends,

Dallise and I want you, our friends and prayer partners, to know The Gathering Place Church will be closing at the end of October, 2006.

Dallise recently read a magazine article about Katie Couric's move from the Today Show to the CBS Evening News Anchor position. Asked about the format of the evening news, "'Some things are going to work and some things aren't,' she says matter-of-factly. 'I believe in noble failure.'"

That phrase caught my attention. I looked it up on the internet for further insight. Charles Schwab says, "The idea that failure is okay is ridiculous. But here at Schwab we differentiate between noble failure and stupid failure." Among his criteria for defining noble failure, Schwab included, "...you have a good plan and know what you're doing, you've thought it through carefully, and have implemented with sufficient management discipline, that if you look back in review, you'd conclude that it was thoughtfully done."

We launched out three years ago with prayer, with counsel from many whom we respect and with an obedient spirit. We got off to a good start with a plan and a passion to obey God in planting this church. We experienced moderately steady growth. I became involved in the local Chamber of Commerce and discovered a receptive platform for communicating the gospel in that business setting. We even were able to lead a few to the Lord.

However, we have not been able to sustain that growth and momentum, and for more than a year have been in a steady decline. Some moved away or graduated college and left for other pursuits. Some left after discovering that we embrace the gifts of the Holy Spirit and some left because they had personal conflicts with others in the church. Our worship leader resigned to devote his energy to the completion of his doctorate degree. Other emotional setbacks, more personal in nature to several families in the church, rocked our world when a dear friend and founding member passed away after a short battle with cancer.

Charles Schwab included another criteria in defining "noble failure;" "...you need to debrief yourself and ask what you can learn from the experience...".

I have learned much about how to start (and how not to start) a church. I'm sure there are many things we would do differently if we were starting again. I've learned much about myself, the details of which I will reserve communication for another time and format. For now, suffice it to say, my sense of calling into the ministry is only reaffirmed and strengthened through this experience.

While we are sad and disappointed at the results of our efforts, we cannot say we are sorry we embarked on this great adventure. Dallise and I have no regrets about our decision to move here and start this church. We believe it is important to take risks and venture out beyond our comfort zones to attempt great things for God. We are ready for the next "step beyond" in our lives, whatever that may be.

A. J. Valliant, reflecting upon a personal failure, wrote, "I suppose the lesson I took from this is that if we fail with grace and style the end result becomes secondary. It's the purity of our intent, and the depth of our conviction, that informs our worth; not some arbitrary marker of success."

Dallise and I hope you will see godly grace and style evidenced in our lives in the coming days. Be assured our worth is informed by the love of God, and to that love we will cling tenaciously.

We are deeply grateful for the financial, prayer and emotional support from so many of you. Thank you for your confidence in us. "

Now we are two years beyond that "noble failure". So, what's next? I have been working at Chase Bank as a Personal Banker, and have many opportunities for personal ministry to my clients. In that respect, it is fulfilling, but still, "What is ahead?"

This following "Word" was given at our church last Sunday. "... God wants you to KNOW that today is the day of His visitation upon your LIFE! To resurrect dreams, hopes, visions & promises and what you think is dead & gone."

The immediate response of my spirit to this Word was not that I would experience a "resurrection" of dreams or of ministry as I have known it before. What I heard, instantly and instinctively, was that God is birthing a NEW vision, a new dream, a new direction for me and Dallise. That excites me!Dallise and I both feel we may have another two years here in Chicago before we fully understand a new ministry vision and the release to pursue it. Thanks for walking this journey with us in prayer.

By the way, we do not see ourselves as failures in any way, only that we have experienced failure along the way. Even if they had told me about failure in Bible College, I could have learned its lessons only through my personal encounter with it. We can't wait to see what God brings from this past "Noble Failure" we have experienced.

Learning to be Brief...

I took a speech class in high school and again in college. I remember how difficult it was to get through 3 minutes of a speech in front of an unappreciative audience. Even then, I realized it was important to speak with passion, and consequently, took some ribbing from my classmates for trying to be expressive.

I know what it is like to watch a parishioner plug in a set of earphones and listen to his transistor radio as I began to preach. I've watched people disappear from the service and never come back, and it always seems there is someone in the audience who falls asleep. Inevitably, someone would come to me at the end of a sermon and apologize for falling asleep. I had this happen frequently enough that I often publicly assured the congregation that it was OK to fall asleep. I would rather them fall asleep at church than at home in front of the TV. I joked that I sometimes put myself to sleep while I was preaching, and so I would not let my feelings be hurt when others fell asleep.

While I have not always been successful at following my own advice, I have realized that brevity in a sermon actually makes it more memorable. I have worked for years to refine and shorten my sermons. Alas, much of my downfall has been that I so easily stray from my prepared notes just to spontaneously tell a story that comes to mind. Of course, I have great stories to tell!!

At any rate, this week I went back through all my blogs because I discovered there were added comments that I had not seen. In doing so, I noticed something that will not come as much of a surprise to those of you know me. My earlier blogs were relatively short and my later blogs have become increasingly longer.

So, I'm off on a new quest to pare down the length of my reminiscing. Try not to fall asleep while reading these blogs. If you fall asleep while reading my blog, I can only surmise you might think I'm boring. If you do fall asleep, don't tell me; just let me think I'm interesting and you'll make me a happy man.

They Never Told Me in Bible College that I might have to be the Sound Guy!

In ministry I've always valued the importance of a good sound system, but also learned the system is no better than the person operating it. Further, I don't know too many issues that can cause more disagreement in a church than the volume of the music. It can divide a congregation.

The sound can also make or break the minister's effectiveness, whether he be preacher or singer. When I first arrived at a new pastorate, the Sound Guy (and that by the way, is usually the official designation of the person who operates the sound system), informed me that I would never have to tap the microphone to determine it it was on or not. In fact, he forbade that I do so. He had some experience in the field of sound and had worked professionally with a couple of bands. He promised that he was a proficient and professional Sound Guy and that my mic would always be ready when I was ready. He said that he would watch me constantly and know my habits and patterns so that I would never have to worry about the sound. You know what? He was right. It was wonderful to work with him.

Ultimately he left our church and Robert volunteered to be the Sound Guy. Robert was not as professional as the previous Guy, but in due respect, his experience in the sound field had been cranking up the volume of his favorite heavy metal music he was listening to on his headset. Lest you think I am being critical of Robert, I watched him take his new responsibility seriously and grow in his skills through the following years that he was Sound Guy. On top of the fact that he got better and better, no one could ever play air guitar as well as Robert did when he was in the sound balcony out of sight of everyone but God and me during our Worship Service. Here's to you, Robert!

I never expected to ever have to be the Sound Guy. I am sure most of you will know who Larnell Harris is. Before he became well known and before he recorded and sold as many songs as he has, he came to our church to minister. He had no entourage to accompany him; no sophisticated sound system, no special lighting, no smoke, no nothin' but himself and a case of cassette sound tracks, one song on each cassette tape. He conscripted me to be his Sound Guy.

It sounded simple. We set up the cassette tape player at the front pew just a few feet to Larnell's right on the left front side of the sanctuary in plain sight so everyone could witness the Sound Guy at work. We set up a goose neck mic stand bent down to the speaker on the cassette player so the sound could be carried to the house speakers. He had his tapes all cued, meaning he had already advanced the tape past the blank leader tape that was always on a cassette. The music would begin immedialy, avoiding that awkward silence hissing in the speakers while waiting for the music to start. The tapes were all laid out in the order of performance. It sounded simple.

It sounded simple. Before the service, Larnell explained he did not like to talk too much between songs and that he wanted me to get the next tape into the player as quickly as possible and go ahead and punch the play button. He assured me he would be ready to sing at that precise moment. He went over a few subtle hand signals he would use to have me raise or lower the volume and suggested it would be important for me to pay attention. It sounded simple.

The service began, Larnell was introduced and I was on. I was johnny-on-the-spot at the end of each tape. Punch the 'eject' button, snatch out the concluded tape, pop in the next song and hit 'play' in one fluid motion. Other than the rattling noise of the tapes being manhandled, everything was going pretty smoothly.

It WAS so simple even though I was tightly wound and wanting not to disappoint or distract Larnell. I was clearly picking up his hand signals and ministry was flowing. It was unfolding as we had hoped and I was envisioning myself traveling as Larnell's roadie and Sound Guy. Then it happened.

The song had reached its climax. Larnell ended the song with a flourish and the music stopped. I punched 'eject' and as I did so, suddenly Larnell belted out this amazing acappella note. I was memerized by his talent and ability to give the song such a powerful unplanned finish. Everyone was in awe; you could feel the electricity in the air. God was with us. With an odd look of slight frustration, Larnell gave me a head nod to go ahead and start the next song and we launched into another spectacular moving performance. In my mind, the evening could have been no better. It really was simple.

After the service, Larnell made a beeline to me. I knew he was coming to congratulate me on a job well done and perhaps even offer me the full-time Sound Guy position. Alas, he launched into an explanation that I had essentially hung him out to dry on that one song. But the music had ended, I explained. Turns out, it was just a rest in the song, and what had appeared to be his impromptu spectacular ending would have been even more spectacular had it been accompanied by the dramatic musical conclusion now resting silently on the cassette. So much for simple.

Although the evening was a ministry success and people were leaving blessed and refreshed, I knew immediately and instinctively that any offer of becoming the Sound Guy for Larnell Harris had gone as silent as the blank leader tape on the cassette. It had seemed so simple.

Every Good Pastor Has A Toilet Cleaning Story...

Bible College is a place for dreams to begin taking shape. The ministerial student envisions himself preaching eloquently, baptizing converts and giving wise counsel based on the Word of God. He sees life change in discipleship and community in Communion. He will be loved and appreciated for his strong, yet compassionate leadership. The church will thrive as he obeys God.

What nobody really told us is that the everyday, mundane events of administration and maintenance can eat up the Minister's week. My son, Seth, now a Childrens' Pastor, wrote the following. "No one ever told me I would pull teeth of little kids; no one told me I would have to clean up bubble parties in the bathroom, or rescue preschool workers from little boys who lock themselves in closets because they had gone pee in there."

I discovered quickly that I would have to print bulletins, make deposits and do the accounting, cut grass and trim hedges, do painting, plumbing, carpentry and electricity (scary), replace lighting, vacuum, and worst of all, clean toilets. While I am not very good at many of these chores, I can say that I have developed a certain skill level in all of them. In fact, in a strange sort of way, I have come to realize that each of these responsibilities has produced character that I may not have developed otherwise. Charis (my daughter-in-law), wouldn't you agree that character is important?

I have come to realize the importance of serving the Body of Christ with a good attitude in these mundane, behind-the-scenes activities. I believe this so strongly that I can now say with a strong conviction that no Minister is worth his salt if he does not have a good toilet-cleaning story. Yea, you guessed it; you get to hear my toilet-cleaning story.

I was Administrator of the Christian School our church had established. One day it was reported to me that the urinal in the boys' bathroom that served our third and fourth graders was stopped up. In case you did not already know this, urinals are not designed for solids. Only liquids will flush. So, I wondered why the urinal would be stopped up. It would have been nice to have had a full time custodian whom I could call on a two-way radio and send to the rescue. But no, I, the Pastor/Administrator, was the only one on call. Besides, we didn't have two-way radios. When I arrived to scope out the damage, I discovered that apparently some little boy had devised a way to deposit "solids" (feces, poop, #two) in the urinal. Even though I knew it was not going to flush, I was hoping a few timely flushes would dissolve the "solids" adequately to make it disappear. That was only a pipe dream. Ultimately I conceded I would have to find a way to remove the "solids" from the urinal. It was not a fun task and I secretly resented the teacher who reported the incident, but would not take the responsibility to do anything more. Finally the task was over and I could get back to the important duties of ministry.

The next day, the teacher reported to me again the same problem. I took care of it again and this time really scolded the boys in the class and threatened the safety of their lives if it should happen again. Well, the next day, we were back in the same mess, if you know what I mean. Since none of the boys would own up to the responsibility, I figured the entire group of boys would have to assist in the cleanup. To their dismay, I made each of the boys join me in the bathroom and with the pair of tongs I had conscripted for the daily duty, each had to remove a piece of the "solid". I do not understand to this day why I did not have some parents in my office and on my case for involving their innocent little kids in this disgusting task. I'm sure most were uninvolved and yet, all learned an important lesson in hygiene that day.

By the way, if my memory serves me correctly, and it doesn't always, my son, Heath, was one of the "depositors" involved. Heath, if I am wrong, please forgive me for the unjust accusation. If I am right, I hope you have your own share of similar experiences. I would wish this on you only because I understand the value of every minister having a good toilet-cleaning story.