They never told me I would have to act in the Christmas Play...

Though some may think differently, I am not much of an actor. It is hard for me to pretend to be someone I'm not. If I were trying to be serious right now, I could say that I don't act because the Greek word for an actor was 'hypocrite'. That word today has a bad connotation, so none of us want to be hypocrites. When I try to do any serious acting, I just get tickled at myself and start laughing. That does not mean I can't put on a show. I can perform, and I definitely love being the center of attention, especially if I have a chance to tell my "fork joke" (Don't ask now. I'll save that for another time.)

When I was a kid, the only Christian TV we had was Oral Roberts and Gospel Quartets. I was really touched and moved by those Gospel Quartets, so much so, that I decided I would become a Gospel Singer. Alas, my downfall was the lack of any semblance of timing and an even worse ear for the right notes. Dallise says I'm the only person she knows who can change keys three times in one verse and never know I did so. Now they didn't tell me in Bible College that I would ever have to sing. Imagine my horror when I was told extra Christmas Choir members were needed. Imagine the horror of the choir director when he discovered the colossal mistake of inviting me to be part of the Christmas Choir. I must say that in time I did develop some ability to sing whatever "part" the choir member beside whom I was standing sang. I can now boast that I sing Soprano, Alto, Bass and Tenor.

Oh, back to being a hypocrite...I mean, actor. One Christmas, a man in our church wrote a brilliant Christmas play titled, "Inside The Inn". He even wrote the lyrics and music for the songs. We had wonderful carpenters, artists and wardrobe specialists who built and painted the sets and designed the clothing. The story centered around the Innkeeper who was trying to find someone willing to give up his room at the Inn for Joseph and Mary. Everyone he asked refused. The message of the play questioned us all as to whether we would make room in our hearts for Jesus.

One of the characters in the play who refused to give up his room was a wealthy merchant. On the night we were performing at the local prison, the merchant was sick and I was quickly conscripted as his understudy. When I made my appearance on the set dressed in the elaborate flowing silk robes of a wealthy merchant and extravagantly, recklessly decked out in jewelry and makeup, I heard one of the inmates, seated no more than ten feet from me, say to his buddy beside him, "Now there's a 'fag' if I've ever seen one!" I don't mean to be politically incorrect in using this terminology. It's just the way it happened at the time.

I was actually scarred and scared all at the same time. My pride was injured and my emotions were wounded that I might appear to be someone I am not. I feared my body might also be injured as there was no barrier inside the ten feet that separated me from them. Somehow, I stumbled through the few minutes I had to be onstage and swore I would never act again.

If I had wanted to be an actor, I would have gone to acting school. Instead, I wanted to be a Pastor, and we all know there are no hypocrites...I mean actors, standing in our pulpits today.