They Never Told Me About Elder Fights...

We studied Biblical Leadership. We went to Leadership Seminars and Workshops. We read books on Leadership. We watched as mentors dealt with their own church Elders and Deacons. But, still, no one can prepare you for the battles that spontaneously break out when passionate men and women feel strongly about church direction with opposing opinions.

There is an adage that Pastors should never surround themselves just with "Yes Men". I believe that is true, but I have also discovered that every Pastor needs someone who is in agreement and in tune with his heart and vision. It is healthy to have leaders who agree with you. I propose that every Pastor needs a couple of "Yes Men", because it is a given understanding that every Pastor will, without fail, have plenty of "No Men".

Dallise's Dad was a Pastor. In one church he served, the Deacons drove past his house one night and fired a rifle into his house. It happened to be fired into Dallise's bedroom. Fortunately she had not yet gone to bed and no one was hurt, but that's a pretty serious "Deacon Problem".

I have been blessed with some very good leaders and advisers along the way. We still have blessed friendships with many of them. One of those Elders whom I still call my dear friend and with whom I still communicate is Ronnie. He and I have stood toe-to-toe in the church building locked in an intense verbal disagreement. After 30 minutes, we had still not come to an agreement, but we embraced and parted company, both still passionate about our own view of the circumstances.

This "intense fellowship" was not uncommon between the two of us, but we always came back together over lunch at the local hometown restaurant or to play golf. I knew he had my back when the times were tough and he knew I always valued his opinion and input.

There are more stories about Ronnie, but to relate them now means that I would be telling the story according to my own flawed recollections. His memory may recall different details about the same story, and the next thing you know, we would be on the phone arguing over whose version is the most accurate.

Bottom line is that "Yes Men" or "No Men", we all need each other. I have learned to appreciate the divine tension that exists between men consumed by God's calling. So, Ronnie, and all the others with whom I have been privileged to minister, here's to you, the salt of the earth.

A Wife Who Keeps Me Straight...

There was a generation of Pastors who were expected to have musically talented wives who would complement the Pastors' preaching skills through the music ministry. They were hired as a package, though the wife was generally never compensated monetarily.

Dallise, my wife, has a degree of music competency. In fact, she has a great heart for leading worship, and has led in various seasons of our pastoral ministry. However, it is not her passion and it is not the greatest asset she brings to the churches I've pastored.

She is wonderfully able to take my big picture-no detail plans and turn them into organized success. For example, it is common that I might step onto the stage on a Sunday morning and announce to the church, with no prior warning to Dallise, that we are going to have a church dinner on a certain date. When we get home, she asks, "Who is going to bring the food, the drinks, the plates, the condiments?" In other words, what about the details? My answer is always that it will just work out, but she knows better. So she gets busy with the list making, the delegating, the planning; and it always results in a fabulous event, all because of her.

But, I have to say the most fun and most humorous assistance she brings to the church family is her insistence in keeping me on track. I'm a storyteller and have a tendency to travel far afield from my sermon point as I chase one rabbit trail after another.

Dallise has always sat just to the right of center aisle on the second pew. She knows me all too well and early on developed her own series of subtle hand signals to get me back on point. Because I often ignored her subtleties, she was forced to become more and more overt in getting my attention. As a result, every church we have pastored picked up on her signals and many, if not most, of the congregants soon joined her in giving me the "fingers-slashed-across-the-throat" signal. This signal is universally recognized as the "cut" sign, meaning stop the current thought; it is not appropriate to go there. Or maybe you can visualize her "rolling-the-hand-in-circular-motion-in-front-of-her-face" signal, meaning move it along, pick up the pace.

Alas, I may have never finished a sermon or a Bible Study in our Small Group if it were not for her signals, although once again in Small Group all the members have joined her in keeping me on track.

What a wife! I love her and need her. She keeps me straight!

What about any of you other ministers? What signals do you get from your wives intended to keep you straight?

They Never Told Me I Might Not Have An Office.

This morning, I read a FaceBook note from one of the Pastors at our church, saying that his office is packed and he will probably be working from home a few days. His office is being repainted and re-carpeted.

I think it's great that he is getting a fresh makeover for the place where Sermons are formed and refined, prayer battles are waged and won and personal counseling encourages and restores. To be comfortable in such a setting is important and vital.

It made me think about my excitement leaving Bible College in 1975 and going to my first position as Assistant Pastor to my Father-In-Law. I was already dreaming of my office and all the miraculous ministry that would flow from that environment. I couldn't wait to get in there and furnish it naturally and spiritually.

The church had a recently built new facility and there were quite a few unfinished rooms. As luck would have it for this "Dreamer of Offices", there were no finished offices as of yet. So, it turns out that my first office was a shared room with my Father-In-Law. Not only did we share an office, we also shared an 8-ft folding table as a desk. He worked on one end; I worked on the other. It was quite a setup, but we made it work.

I eventually did get an office of my own and even my own desk. Through the next 30+ years, I have shared offices, worked from hallway offices, had small spartan offices and large well appointed offices and home offices and attic offices and basement offices. Of course, as you would imagine, it turns out in the end that while offices are necessary and conducive to good ministry, the bottom line is that Sermons are formed and refined first in the heart. Prayer battles are waged and won in every environment in which people live and struggle. Encouragement and restoration happens wherever the Word of the Lord is fitly spoken, even from my current desk sitting unenclosed and exposed in the middle of a bank lobby where I work as a Personal Banker.

I miss my own church office at times while in this different season of my life working and ministering at a bank. One great Revivalist wrote, "The world is my pulpit." A Circuit Riding preacher said, "The saddle is my pulpit." So, I say, "The world is my office, " and I am happy to know I'll never be without an office.

By the way, the Pastor I referred to in the opening paragraph would no doubt gladly give up his freshly painted and re-carpeted office to minister anywhere and everywhere there are hungry souls.